Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Read Hebrews 12:1-13

“How are you doing now?” my friend asked as we walked in the park.

The friend was the author Adrian Plass, and the incident under discussion was still fresh. After a decade spent trying to start a family—through special diets, healing prayer, numerous rounds of IVF treatment, and an agonising two-year wait on the Australian adoption list—my wife Merryn and I had brought our dream of parenting to an end and moved to England to start our lives again. Merryn’s faith had been sorely tested through the ordeal, and I had left a good career to make the move. But we were now trying to be positive about the future.

“On the whole, we’re doing okay,” I told Adrian. “Merryn has a good job now and doesn’t cry about the past as much. I guess we’re trying to focus on the upside of being childless and the opportunities it brings. You know, like having the freedom to travel.”

“I understand that,” Adrian said, “but that will only take you so far.” We walked a little further before he explained what he meant.

“Think about Jesus hanging on the cross,” he said. “The crucifixion was a dark, barbaric event. There was no ‘upside’ to it. And Jesus never tried to find one. Instead, he did something else entirely. Sheridan, have you ever noticed how many people Jesus ministered to while he hung on the cross? He ministered to his mother. . . .”

“You mean, when he put her in John’s care?” I said.

“That’s right. And he ministered to the thief crucified next to him, and to the people who crucified him. By his attitude and behaviour he ministered to the Roman officer who came to believe in him, and he ministered to us—forgiving our sins through his sacrifice. All of this was done in the middle of Jesus’ suffering, before things came good at his resurrection.”

I hadn’t seen it that way before.

“There may be some benefits in you and Merryn being childless,” Adrian said, “but other times you’ll find it difficult and lonely. If you follow Jesus’ example, out of your suffering will come opportunities to serve people in ways you otherwise never could have.

I didn’t realise it then, but Adrian was doing for me what the writer of Hebrews did for his embattled readers. In the midst of their suffering (in their case, persecution), the writer invites them to reflect more deeply on Jesus to find hope. If they did the same, they too would see their suffering redeemed into righteousness, peace, and rich service.

Jesus suffered unjustly, but treated his hardship as training in tenacity.

Adrian’s wisdom would be quick to bear fruit. Based on his words, I would write Merryn’s and my story into a book which would later help others start again after their own broken dreams. Our suffering would begin to be redeemed.

“For Jesus, crucifixion was a mission field,” Adrian said, wrapping up our walk in the park. “And with him, the fruit of our suffering can be service to others too.”

It’s a lesson that continues to give me hope every day.

With Jesus, nothing is wasted.

Not even our own little crucifixions.